How to Date While You’re Still Living at Home
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Take it from us, it is not uncommon to be a 20-something living at home these days. Blame the job market, economy, student loans, blah, blah, blah, but almost 25 percent of adults between 18 and 34 (that’s about 18 million) are calling mom and dad their roommates, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
Sure, living at home has its pros and cons. But you don’t have to press pause on your dating life just because you’re back under your parents’ roof. Here, our rules to avoid rejection and an involuntary vow of celibacy.
Be honest about why you’re living at home.
If you’re mooching on mom’s nightly home-cooked meals, her in-home laundry service and free HBO 24/7, well, you’re not going to have much luck in the dating world. However, if living at home is allowing you to pursue career dreams, like music or writing, which may affect having a steady income, then you shouldn’t be embarrassed. Knowing what you want to do with your life is a first-rate trait, and you’ve figured out the best plan of action. Keeping a confident tone when talking about your goals will significantly drop the chance of rejection next time you get your flirt on.
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Negotiate house rules with your parents.
Can your significant other spend the night? Are Mom and Dad okay with you staying at your BF/GF’s place? Can you have privacy if a date comes over to watch a movie or cook dinner? And finally, would your parents be upset, feel disrespected or kick you out if they knew you were having sex in their house?
If you don’t want an incredibly long and self-inflicted dry spell, all of these questions should be ones you ask. Well, except maybe the last one—you should be able to figure out their take on that without actually discussing it.
Realize that meeting the parents is going to happen sooner than expected.
When you’re living on your own, overnight dates usually happen within the first month and your new love doesn’t get pressured into meeting your family until you’re both ready to take that step. So when Mom and Pop are also your roomies, the typical dating timeline is going to be skewered. “Meeting the parents” could happen as soon as the first date if you’re getting picked up. Can you say awkward?! So, what to do? Sweet talk your “roomies” by saying you’d like to first decide if the person you’re seeing is someone even worth introducing.
Dating really isn’t difficult, however most people are not aware of how they sabotage themselves on the first date.
A first date should be treated as such, casual with no expectations. Do not discuss serious topics like careers, politics, past relationships, or religion. We assume we need to know this information from minute one so we can decide if we are interested in meeting again. This is the wrong approach. Just show up and have fun. Keep topics of conversation light and carefree. In reality, the vast majority of “important topics” will not be deal breakers if we genuinely like the person. It’s amazing how flexible we become for the RIGHT person.
Below is a simple list of the top things women need to do and not do while on the first date.
Do’s
- Always be on time.
- Appearance is everything… pay attention to your makeup, hair, and nails.
- Exude positive energy.
- Be a lady. Leave something to the imagination.
- If interested, suggest getting together again.
Don’ts
- Interrogate. This is not a job interview.
- Consume the conversation with talk of kids.
- Talk about your flaws, weight, or finances.
- Ask about your date’s thoughts on marriage or having kids. Remember it’s only the first date.
- Text, answer a call or do anything else related to your phone.
Now that you have the do’s and don’ts for women, what do you think they are for the men? Tell us in a comment below!
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